Our Plan to Get in Your Pants... er... Pantries

4 minute read

To convince you to buy their products, companies like Heilu face a formidable challenge. But it's nothing new. In fact, the playbook has already been developed...

By the greatest lovers of the world. 

To get you (and others) to eat Heilu, here's our strategy for seduction:

Presentation

Your - and everybody's - dream partner is drop-dead gorgeous with a great personality. You might settle for less, but he or she has to at least be presentable. 

Well you're in luck because Heilu is beautiful... on the inside. On the outside (being made from bugs and all) we understand if you're not yet convinced.

With that in mind and to broaden appeal, we're giving Heilu an "Extreme Makeover". We're developing attractive products like protein powders, cooking oil, and snacks that are very similar to those you are already familiar with. They're just made from a different (incredible) source. 

You'll be blown away by Heilu's "Extreme Makeover" too. (Image from BBC.com)

You'll be blown away by Heilu's "Extreme Makeover" too. (Image from BBC.com)

Introduction

You're much more likely to fall in love with someone introduced by a friend than with a random stranger. You trust your friends to have some idea of what your tastes are and are more willing to let your guard down.  

Lucky for us, since you're reading this, we've already been introduced (It was really nice meeting you!).

Unlike in traditional relationships, polygamy is typical when it comes to food. So if you wouldn't mind, how about sharing us with your friends?

Approach

If the first thing someone says to you is "Your place or mine?" your reply is probably not going to be "Why not a hotel?". Even if that person is super sexy and you happen to be in the mood, you'll take them up on their offer just for a fling. They're not relationship material. 

Heilu isn't looking for a one-night stand. We're not some limited edition Ben & Jerry's ice cream. We're looking to take it slow, start with some friendly and fun conversation (blogs for example) and build a safe, trusting relationship from there. 

Let's go to my bedroom. Just this once... 

Let's go to my bedroom. Just this once... 

The First Date(s)

Your ideal first date with someone you barely know is probably something quick and simple. Meeting for coffee, for example. Either that or an incredibly extravagant helicopter adventure (if they're paying). 

Heilu can't afford helicopters for thousands of people, but we have another date idea that people rarely turn down. They sometimes even line up for it:

Samples.

Samples are the coffee dates of the marketing world. A quick, easy, noncommittal way to get to know each other before taking it to the next level.

Making It Official

If our first date goes smoothly you'll hopefully want to do something more substantial together, like dinner and a movie. Following that, maybe we can do an outdoor activity like a hike together. You'll probably also want to introduce us to your friends to get their opinions. If all goes well, we'll be "official".

Heilu also hopes to go to dinner with you (as an ingredient in a dish at a restaurant or café you happen go to). Maybe after you’ll agree to take a Heilu-powered snack with you on a hike. Then you'll share some with your friends, who’ll hopefully approve. And finally, at long last, you’ll be ready to move in together – to take Heilu home and have a healthy (and very sustainable!) relationship.

...

Sadly, for now we must keep our relationship a secret. We're not allowed to be together.  But within the next year or so hopefully that will change. In the meantime we'll continue to write, and if you happen to be in Vancouver let's meet up for a coffee sometime. Let us know if you're interested. 


Next Up: I Just Realized I've Been a Huge Hypocrite